Don't make me do it, because I will if I have to
Tonight I came face to face with an ethical dilemma and I think I might have lost. I'm just not sure.
I had to make a trip to the store, because that's the exciting stuff of my life, don't you know? And when I parked my car (as I do nearly everytime I park anywhere), I parked perfectly centered in the space so that I would have plenty of room on either side of the car. I always do this because I'm a freak about this sort of thing. I even make poor George do it sometimes, too. Sorry, George. But it just makes me feel better to have the car in the center of the space. Ahh, even thinking about a centered car is pleasing. (Thinking about an uncentered car is decidedly UNpleasing.)
So when I went into the store there was nobody parked on either side of my perfectly-placed car (which is just ideal, isn't it?). When I came out of the store, however, some complete slaghead had parked with the same concern I see in my two-year old's toothbrushing. Not only was he nowhere close to centered in his own space (a fault for which he should really lose points on his license, because really, how hard is that?), but he was so far from centered that he was across the line and parked in MY SPACE.
He was so close to my car on the driver's side (of course) that I had to shimmy to get to the door. Well. Herein lies the dilemma. How the hell do I open the door WITHOUT scratching his car? When it boiled right down to it... I couldn't. I just could not be done. I was faced with having to stand at my car and wait for some person to finish their shopping so that I could get in my car OR scratch their car.
I probably stood and pondered the predicament for a good fifteen seconds (which is a long time at night in a parking lot). Then I noticed something interesting: a series of dings and scratches all up and down this otherwise nice car. Perhaps this is a serial slaghead? Hard to feel too guilty when there's evidence that this happens a lot.
So I did it. I opened my door. Maybe a bit harder than I should have. And I shimmied into my car feeling a little bit of guilt but more than that, feeling a small sense of revenge.